I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
