Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize