How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize