Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
