i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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