I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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