What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
