thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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