I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize