he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
