We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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