i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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