Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
