So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
