I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
