I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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