took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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