Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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