In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
