Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
