This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
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if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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