You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
