our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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