Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.