Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night