I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO