I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door