I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
