Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
