I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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