Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize