Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
