She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
