you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
