If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
