2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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