She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
