He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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