I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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