If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize