this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize