I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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