Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
