so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Farmville is her only friend.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
