I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
