so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
