I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
