we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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