I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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