Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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