I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
