My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
