that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
