I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
