Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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