i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
