somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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