epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
