your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
