They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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