chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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