Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
