I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
