hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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